i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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