it wasn't lemon gatorade
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
