The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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