It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
