Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Watching her eat just hurts me
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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