You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
