i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
