Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
