i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
