When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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