You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
