so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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