I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
