you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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