Joe is yelling at the trees again.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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