You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
