I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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