i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
