so explain again why im purple
no
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
