Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
