Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
