He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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