I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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