you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
