I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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