winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
