This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
