Already got asked if we're dating
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Randomize
