Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
