what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
