My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My breasts were aching with rage.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
