Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
