; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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