My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
