i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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