Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
