His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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