theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
