jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
