is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
