glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
She even gives head with a lisp.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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