I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
