He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
