The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
