Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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