I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
