My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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