She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
