I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
