Sponge bath it is.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
